Understanding the world to be an unpredictable and devastating place has not been difficult in the past weeks, even years. Tragedy after tragedy unfolds to plague news reports and cripple family units. I am sure, that no matter where you are on our planet, you have heard your fair share of suffering recently. I had a pretty intense post written for today. I would classify it as an open letter to the world. Yet, as I was proofreading it over, I kept adding more and more things and venting out frustrations and thoughts. It reminded me of walking downtown when the path feels endless. Forward, forward. Until the only way to get off the path is to turn back versus see an end in sight. Ultimately, I don’t think the letter is ready. Or if it ever will be… because I can’t see a finish line. In a way, I find that incredibly disheartening. I can say, without a moments thought, that the world we inhabit is not the place I once believed I would be living in when I was a child. It may be naive to think anything that I conceived of as a child could have any baring on my life as an adult, but it does. The amount of self-reflection I have undergone in days past is draining and more than I bargained for. I have dove into old philosophy books and read countless news articles trying to make sense of how I’m feeling. I’m struggling to put everything into words, as even writing this makes me upset and angry. My letter should have an end. So why can’t it? I’ll leave you with this quote. I think it’ll help explain the headspace inside my skull.
July ,17 2016